they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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