I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize