Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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