no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
