last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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