Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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