I puked a lego.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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