Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Randomize
