Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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