Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
