i just google imaged poop.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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