now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
