I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
