Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
