Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
