just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
