maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Small penises have feelings too.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize