we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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