dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
