I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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