i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
