I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
