wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
