is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
