like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
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He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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