I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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