just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
