I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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