Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
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Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
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