I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
No subtext here. People are naked.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
