I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
