If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
