I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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