'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
