ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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