I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
should my penis look like a turkey
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
