How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize