ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
