Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Be still, my beating vagina.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
