i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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