I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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