Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
