i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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