what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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