Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize