have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
