I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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