how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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