who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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