watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
