On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
