think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
