I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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