We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
