dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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