where am i from again
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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