she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
