I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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