Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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