blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
