It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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